We often stress about what women want. Whether or not they actually get what they want is anybody’s guess. But let’s change the lens. What do men want? Can their preferences be stereotyped? While every man is different, they are fashioned out of the same fabric. There are some motifs that run through them all. Men are not that cold, conceited or insensitive. In fact, they are often more fragile, dependant, and expressive than we give them credit for. They too are burdened by the narrowing definition of ‘masculinity’.
So, here’s a list of things you should practice, if you already don’t, to build a healthy relationship. Not only are these things vital to the depth and longevity of your relationship, but they are important to even begin to know each other.
1. A Pat On The Back
We’re all looking for validation. But, men? Even more so.
Just the fact that you’re with him is not enough, you ought to spell it out. Comfort in the relationship shouldn’t become complacency. Tell him you love him and tell him why you love him. Whether it’s a colour he’s worn, a gesture he’s performed, some tricks he has pulled in the kitchen or the bed – reward him with your words and kisses.
We’re not asking you to massage the ‘male ego’, we’re just asking you to take care of his tender heart for, believe it or not, men are sensitive. They tend to become cold when left unattended for far too long.
2. A Healthy Libido
It’s no surprise that most men have a towering sex drive. No pun intended. His idea of intimacy may differ from yours, but if you’re looking to please, be expressive in bed. Spend time between the sheets, figure each other’s’ bodies out; it’s a joy to discover the unique constellation of pleasure points on your partner’s body. Don’t be shy, he’d love you for being vocal and guiding him every now and then. If you’re one to dominate, well done, you’re already on the right path!
3. A Penny For Your Thoughts
Communication is vital for any relationship. Women want interpreters, they love to keep an air of mystery. But men are not always good at catching signs, often being labelled as apathetic or cold in the process. We cannot stress enough on ‘talking it out’.
No matter how abstract or complicated your emotion, discuss it with him. We don’t guarantee that he’d understand, but we guarantee that you’d both come out of it feeling closer and all the more in love.
4. Parallel Lives
Men tend to impose their lifestyles on their partners, but deep down, most men respect and root for their partner to have a life of their own. Do not muddle your identity to be with him. Have your own friend circle, hobbies, and colleagues. This is crucial for a symbiotic relationship where you can both continue to grow with each other. For any couple to be happy and go through life as a functional unit, it’s important for the man and woman to retain and express their individuality. However, this won’t mean that you cease to be ‘two body one soul’!
5. Respect
The key ingredients to a healthy relationship are loyalty and respect. While intimacy, passion, and compatibility are important, they sometimes shadow loyalty and respect. The closer you are the more difficult it becomes to demonstrate respect. We often just hope our partners will assume the obvious. But he can’t do this math on his own. He needs your acknowledgement and appreciation. You will go through your ups and downs, you will argue and insult each other, but it’s important to dust off and tell your partner how you really feel.
6. No Games
No one likes to be manipulated. Mind games and blame games plague every relationship, irrespective of age or place. Don’t poke him and never test his love by pulling cheap tricks like getting him jealous. Address your insecurities. If you feel like you’re falling out of love, tell him. It’s better to hurt than to cheat.
7. Comfort
Last, but something we need in copious amounts – comfort. Life is a rollercoaster and nobody gets out alive; but while we’re breathing, we long to feel comfort at the end of a tiring day. Don’t unleash your complaints at the end of a stressful day. Find a better time to communicate. Gauge your partner’s mood, energy levels, and anxiety. You are his support system. He will be your knight in shining armour, but he’ll need your loving arms and understanding gaze to get through that.
Men might be from Mars, but it’s closer and more familiar territory than you think. Don’t always wait for him to take the first step. It’s the 21st century; go ahead and launch yourself!
