Was it LOVE? Definition Of Love

So , it was the beginning of my class nine, well my school had two branches and the classes from nine was in other section. Now we had to go by bus to a remote area from main town where the senior section was located. The first day I came to know my class section was changed, I belonged to section c and most of the students in that section were new to me.

On the third period our chemistry teacher asked a question which I don’t remember but I do remember the strong and sweet voice of the person who answered it . He was the boy with 6 fingers. He was long, smart and everything. But the thing was he was sitting in back row so I couldn’t see him even though his voice was something I remember till now.

He came from a village near the school, by cycle. Next day he sat almost next to my desk, and I could now totally see him. I was good at studies so not much but I was well known in my class and he knew me, that was what I thought. It was very new to me, new feeling. That desire to see him first after entering the class and searching him in the lunch time.

It all started during our English classes. I don’t know why but we like use to stare at each other and smile all the time. We never talked to each other, only used to ask some random bookish questions. His smile was like rain from heaven. I had never stared some one like that before. I mean I had some crushes but none of them were so strong.

Mostly the times when our English teacher used to read novel, everyone used to listen and only we used to stare constantly.

He used to blush every time he talked to me and me to.

Even after all this neither he got the courage to express his feelings nor I . May be he did expressed but I ignored. It was the end of class and we were waiting for our class to go out and I did heard him saying I love you in my back smiling at me, but it was in front of his friends, I thought that as a joke but may be it was not.

The story has not ended as many of you would thought.

In class 10 we never talked.

Why??

Because my so called friends gave me the valuable advice to make him my brother by tying a rakhi on his arm and at that time being a boyfriend or girlfriend was a mark for being bad and not smart. It was like signing yourself in teachers bad book.

So I did what they said and I still regret that. Though I never tied the rakhi but I did place it on history wrist and then ran away from there.

Whole class 10th we were awkward. Though the staring was still on. I had now more strong feelings for him now than before. Whenever any teacher used to speak roughly with him, I used to feel bad.

So after this school drama, in 11th when I thought I lost the touch with him I didn’t. What happens in India is that after 10th for 11th and 12th we take coaching. So I also got into coaching. He was not there in starting months but then one day the same voice I heard gave me goosebumps. I was so happy inside.

Though we never talked but his voice and appearance used to make happy. It was like a special feeling. He did tried talking to me. That made my day. Those four years till 12th were very special for me.

Never had that feeling after that. I used to think it was just a crush but may be it was not. I only think good for him and all success to him. Is this a crush? May be it was.

But what if it was love, have I lost the love.

I don’t know but hope I meet him seem day before my marriage, so that I could apologize for my childish behavior back then and tell him exactly how I feel for him.